A Hard Day's Luck (transcript)
Episode: A Hard Day's Luck (animals making noise) (sparkling) Haggis: Oooohh, Marvin! Marvin: Duh, yes Mr. Haggis sir? Haggis: Uh, help me with my hair. Marvin: Ah! (whimpering, tape rips) Ow! Haggis:(slap, sliding) Oh, what I'd do for ma own locks. |Marvin: Duh here is your breakfast Mr. Haggis. It is your favorite. Haggis: Oh boy! (cereal pouring, plastic pack thuds) Hmm.. (fly buzzing) Marvin:Duh "Magic Leprechaun Charm. Just Add Water"! (spits) (Deep rumbling, poof!) Leprechaun: Top of the mornin' laddies! Say, nice palace ya got here sonny. You know what they say, "It's a dirty hand that makes a clean home". Haggis: Ahh! It's a foreigner! Throw him out at once! Leprechaun: Wait! But I'm a magic leprechaun! I can grant you anything you wish! Haggis:Give me a flowin' mane of me own locks, right now! Leprechaun: All right all right! I'll grant you your wish, but only if you can first pass a test..IF your man enough. Haggis:Oh, yeah? I can pass any measly test! You got yourself a deal! (Marvin's arm crumbles. Marvin whimpers) (Arm snaps in half. Haggis and Leprechaun yell and fall. Fade In) Leprechaun: And now for the first test, baldy. Can ya keep your temper? Haggis:Huh! What temper? Marvin: Der, yeah! He is always mad! Haggis:I..I..! Leprechaun: If you fail, the big dumb houseboy is mine. Let's begin!(snaps finger) Marvin: Click! (operatic record plays) (Leprechaun leaps on Haggis' head) Leprechaun: Once upon a time, there was an ugly little Scotsman, who was very angry. Leprechaun: He only had 3 sons. Now the first one, (plucks a hair) he done ran away and went to live on.. the mooooon! (sticks hair in Haggis' eye, turning it red.) Where he was very happy. (Leprechaun plucks a second hair) (Jams hair between Haggis' teeth. Haggis struggles to get said hair out of his teeth.) Now the second son ran away to live in a crack in the blarney stone. And it was a very comfy home indeed. (Leprechaun plucks a third hair and inserts it into Haggis' ear) And finally.. The last son ran away to live inside a cave. (inserts a jar of 'EAR MITES' into ear) And he invited all his friends.. Who all had a big party. And they all lived happily ever-- uh, happy, uuumm..Oh yeah! They all lived happily ever-- Marvin:Ah! Duh one nation unguarded for which it stands!( Haggis explodes. shillelagh bonking) Marvin:Ooh! Ow! Dang! That hurt, I think! Do it again! More! Leprechaun: Er, whenever your done you can hand over that houseboy. Leprechaun: Oh alright, i'll give ya another chance to win your wish, in a test of generosity! Leprechaun: But if you fail... you must give me everything you own. Haggis: Why i'm the generous being in the hole- Clam: Help! Oh help please! I need some bus fare, to get back to the ocean, can you please spare some change? Leprechaun: It's a wee price to pay, shiny! Clam: (inaudible dialogue) Haggis: What am I doing? Haggis: The buses are not running today Haggis: Try flying! Clam: (laughing) Haggis: (laughing) Leprechaun: I, such generosity. Leprechaun: Welp, you got one last chance to win your wish! Leprechaun: If you can pass, a test of courage! Haggis: Courage! Throw me to the lions! I'll slay any dragons! Leprechaun: Then prove to me that you're not afraid of..the dark! (Later) Leprechaun: Now remember the rules! If you can last more than a minute down there, you win. But if you looose..the shillelagh is mine! (Later in the well) Haggis: Ha, courage. Afraid of what dark? (Thud) Leprechaun: Here have another egg! (Marvin farts) Haggis: Well uh, at least there's no snakes.(blink, blink!) (dice rattling) Haggis: Well then, certainly there are no monsters? Marvin:(belches) He, he, he, he, he, he, he! (belching above well) (Haggis' eyes shaking) (imaginary monsters growling and moaning) Haggis: Ooooooohhhh.... (lights match, silence) Real Monster:Hey buddy! Got a light? Haggis' Brain: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Haggis' brain yelping) (gunshot, Haggis whimpering) Leprechaun: Tisk, tisk, tisk, so close. Leprechaun: Well, i'll be taking that shillelagh now! Come on Haggis: OOOHH No..not my shillelagh! Oh please don't make me..don't make me...cry! (bawling) Leprechaun: ALL RIGHT!! SHUT UP!!!! Leprerchaun: Very well, a leprechaun has got his reputation uphold. It's okay, ye can win. (Haggis gasps happily) Leperachaun:Take this lucky bean! Eat it, and you'll be granted your wish. (Haggis gobbles, A gigantic strand of Hair grows on his head, leaving him overjoyed) Chorus: Hallelujah! Hallelujah, Hallelujah! (Haggis laughing) (laughing continues, explosion in distance) Category:Episode Transcripts